05 August 2010

From Mr No Os

Hi, Ypu lppk great and spund enchanting!
If ypu'd cpnsider spmepne plder fpr spmething casual then PLEASE reply to me.
What is ypur name, dp u use a partner's full name during mpments of passipn? xxx

Dear Mr No Os. Thanks for your email. Admittedly, the fact that you had to write in capitals in order to get to me reply has made me feel slightly like I'm being begged for some sort of inappropriate favour. With the greatest respect, surely a man of your esteemed years would have thought it prudent to get one's keyboard fixed before trying to e-woo someone half your age? And I literally am half your age. As for using a lover's full name in moments of passion. PLEASE. I can only say to you oh no Mr No Os. Now if you will please excuse me, I have to go and remind myself of my real age. You might want to do so yourself. Yours, youthfully and keyboard-intactly.


Ps. In case it's not just your keyboard that has a problem with Os, here's a translation of the above text:


Dear Mr Np Ps. Thanks fpr ypur email. Admittedly, the fact that ypu had tp write in capitals in prder tp get tp me reply has made me feel slightly like I'm being begged fpr spme sprt pf inapprppriate favpur. With the greatest respect, surely a man pf ypur esteemed years wpuld have thpught it prudent tp get pne's keybpard fixed befpre trying tp e-wpp spmepne half ypur age? And I literally am half ypur age. As for using a lpver's full name in mpments of passipn. PLEASE! I can pnly say tp ypu ph np Mr Np Ps. Npw if ypu will please excuse me, I have tp gp and remind myself pf my real age. Ypu might want tp dp sp ypurself. Ypurs, yputhfully and keybpard-intactly.

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