03 August 2010

From Mr Stalker

Hey! Checking out my profile and not saying hello. How rude.

Dear Mr Stalker. Thanks for your email. And the wink beforehand that prompted me to check the profile of the winker in question. My reasons for not sending you a message are threefold. Let me list for you:
1. Your height is listed at 5'2". As a fellow five-foot-twosian I appreciate quite how midgetlike I am, and find something very eerie about being able to make direct level eye contact with a potential suitor.
2. You list the last thing you read as The London Lite. The London Lite has been no more since November last year. Please tell me you've read something since. And no, the Metro doesn't count. Nor does the the label on your steroid bottle.
3. You work in medicine / dental / veterinary. I do not wish to date someone who will diagnose me with leprosy, cavities or foot and mouth. Yours, avoidingly.

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