hi im mr nice guy from yorkshire i think you look really nice. i like films,music,wildlife,football,games and photography.Im a niceguy and not just after my leg over,im romantic and considerate and im very interested in what you get up to as a scientist.Hope you write back soon.
Dear Mr Nice Guy. Thanks for your email. I'm pleased that your sole purpose for contacting me was not to get your leg over, but you genuinely want to find out about my work as a scientist. I'll tell you about it now. I'm a master when it comes to chemistry, and one area of my expertise is concocting complex chemical compounds in cocktails. In physics terms, I'm very competent when it comes to Newton's various laws, with the exception of after I've been practising my chemistry and I do like to put the laws of gravity to the test. Biologically speaking, I'm very aware of the facts of life, bodily functions and have been known to put both into practise in real life on the odd occasion. In short, I know fuck all about science. Because I work in television. I've always worked in television, and it says so on my profile. So god knows who you thought you were writing to, but it certainly wasn't me! Yours, unscientifically
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