Hi, are you free to chat atall? DO you like Frankie Boyle?
Dear Frankie Boyle. Thanks for your email. I know you are not the real Frankie Boyle, but you do bear a frightening resemblance to him, that is, if one was to imagine a Picasso version of a Frankie Boyle portrait, as painted by a 5 year old. What the real Frankie Boyle lacks in looks, he certainly makes up for in humour, but judging from your profile you neither match him in the looks stakes, nor in the comedy stakes. For these reasons, and rather important reasons they are, I think I'll be on my way to hang about the stage doors Edinburgh Fringe for people who genuinely put the funny into funny-looking. Yours, comically.
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