17 August 2010

From Mr Third Person

What... a ruddy marvellous profile. *Mr Third Person stands up and does a rather embarrassing round of applause*

You could teach everyone a thing or two. I had gone down the behave yourself and look at one with society route. Obviously I shouldn't have.

Anyway, you sound fascinating (in a good way). Hope you're having a great weekend.

*Mr Third Person now sits down*.

Dear Mr Third Person. CTS thanks you for your email. CTS is flattered that Mr Third Person appreciates her profile, and is not entirely convinced that society might benefit from her irreverent attitude to dating profiles, but suggests Mr Third Person pays a little more attention to his, for fear of sounding rather boring. CTS also suggests that Mr Third Person desists in writing in the third person, lest he should give off the impression that he is, in fact, a nutbag. CTS has great concerns that if two people who insist on speaking in the third person should ever meet, it would be a rather surreal double date scenario, which thus unnecessarily  increases the pressure experienced on the average first date twofold. Consequently, CTS would like to inform Mr Third Person that she will henceforth be returning to the first person, and will not be communicating with Mr Third Person, nor either of his representatives, Mr First Person or Mr Second Person, from hereon in. Yours, impersonally.

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