19 August 2010

From Mr Self-Depriciation

I might not be the beautiful or the sexiest...Nor have the perfect body..I might not be anyones first choice...But I'm a GREAT choice...I dont pretend to be someone else...Cause I am too good at being ME...I might not be proud of some of the things I've done ...but I am proud of who I am today. Take me as I am or don't... take me at all.!!!!

Dear Mr Self-Depreciation. Thanks for your email. It troubles me that you are so down on your looks, I'm sure there are lots of primates out there that would find you and your awe-inspiring hirsutism sexy. And you do have the perfect body, if you have a group of friends who easily get lost and need an obvious landmark as a meeting point, or know lots of people that get sunburned easily and would benefit from a vast expanse of shade. I'm very pleased that you're good at being yourself, even though you don't have much other choice of whose body to inhabit. And everyone makes mistakes, you're only human: put those sandals of yours down to experience. And that mullet haircut. And that rather unusual fleece of yours. Or is that your body hair? Anyway, now I come to your final offer - take me or leave me. After much deliberation, and this is absolutely nothing to do with your gargantuan furry physique, but I have decided to leave it. All 23 hairy stones of it. Sorry. Yours, self-appreciatingly.

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