13 August 2010

From Mr Mobster

im italian guy originally from brooklyn n.y. ex mob guy...... now living simple and peacful.if you have an open mind with a compassionate side great! if your scared cause of my honesty sorry.

Dear Mr Mobster. Thanks for your email. I can tell from your profile that you're a loving, caring, compassionate guy, as well as being stunningly gorgeous from what I can see from your photos. Sunglasses and Brylcream are definitely a good look for you. And that suit? Very sharp indeed. I can also see you're a worldly-wise man who looks out for his family and friends, and I find that an invaluable quality. To be honest, I don't think, with all your wonderful redeeming personal qualities, that I could ever be a good enough girlfriend to compliment you, you could do so much better than little old oh-so-very-humble me. So on this occasion, and with much regret, I'm going to say I don't think we're a suitable match. But this is only because you deserve so much better. Yours, unworthily.

PS. Please don't kill me. Or my family. Or leave some sort of animal head in my bed.

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