15 October 2010

From Mr Never-Been-Kissed

hi, hope your well (lovely pic/profile). this may sound like a joke, but i am entirely serious. would you teach me how to kiss? if your interested then get back to me and i'll explain more. im not interested to meet for sex (not for now anyway), just to learn kissing only. (i have never been in a relationship before hence my request).

Dear Mr Never-Been-Kissed. Thanks for your email. Of course I'll teach you how to kiss, I learned back in my days at an all girls boarding school. The trick is to hold the other person's face tenderly with both hands (in my case back then it was Lynsey from the year above), move in very slowly until you're just touching lips (she used to smell like strawberry lip balm from the Body Shop, mmm yummy!), and then slowly slip your...hang on a minute...I know your game. Dirty boy. Well done you.

Yours, lip servicely

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