13 October 2010

From Mr Lick

genuine offer .................. hi sexi, im mr lick from east london. Doese the idea of a pussy lick n go service take your fancy??????. Very serious. Have a sizzling hot toungue with infinite experience having given pleasure to many women. This will be about your pleasure ONLY, can accommodate, travel or even collect if its a beauti such as you. We dont even have to speak, just a lick n go! ..............

Dear Mr Lick. Thanks for your email. As taken as I am by your spectacularly generous offer of a cunnilingus delivery service, I shall have to gracefully decline, on no other grounds than it's against my religion to let someone touch me with their 'toungue'. Whatever a 'toungue' is...

But well done for your entrepreneurial skills, may I suggest you try contacting the Dragons Den? I hear that Deborah Meaden is in the market for bespoke sexual services, and your Squeals On Wheels business would go down a treat. Literally. 

Yours, linguistically

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