I was blinded by your good looks so i'm going to need your details for insurance reasons.
Dear Mr Dodgy Claim. Thanks for your email. I'm sorry but I can't help you with your insurance case. You see, I'm only covered for third party, fire and theft, so unless someone has physically stolen your eyeballs or they have been subjected to some sort of arson attack, you're not eligible to make a claim. Do let me know if they have though. Not because I will give you my details, but because it'll make me chuckle. Yours, assuredly
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