03 September 2010

From Mr Tribute

Wow, hello you!

I read your profile and was extremely envious of it! That's the kind of profile I'd like to write (and no, not because it's attracted another me).

It seems that there's a lot of 'you' in your description, which is *nice*. I feel like I know you already, and yet you've yet to delete this message! (preferably print it out and throw darts at it - or knitting needles).

I'm a simple human being in a complicated life... I know what I like, and I like what I know - actually I don't know 100% what I like, and I don't necessarily like what I know sometimes.

I do, however, like music I'm currently in a tribute band playing keyboards. The band is a tribute to Genesis, of whom I adore, and could possibly bore you senseless detailing their every historical musical movement (in Chronological order).

I like the fact that although I'm born and bred Essex, I can spell, and add up numbers (yes, past 10). I work from home as a freelance Web Developer.

If I've bored you, then it's best to get the printer and darts/knitting needles ready. If you've been remotely interested, or slightly tickled, then I'd love a reply.

If you want to know more, I'm only to willing to write more nonsense for your casual perusal!!


Dear Mr Tribute. Thanks for your email. What perplexes me is you have profile envy of someone of the opposite sex that you might in theory be attracted to. Is that not a bit odd? Here's a tip for your profile, perhaps writing a couple of words demonstrating you do actually have a personality and then put a couple of pictures of yourself in a pretty frock at someone's wedding up and you're there! Although don't call me nice, that's damning someone with the faintest of praise. I think I'd almost rather be insulted. Perhaps. But anyway, I feel like I'm ignoring the elephant in the room. You're 29 years old, and you're in a Genesis tribute band? Seriously. I feel like I don't want to ask any band-related questions for fear of what gargantuan pseudo-savantesque diatribe it may unleash. And don't get me wrong, we all like a little bit of Sussudio of an evening, perhaps the odd twinkle of In The Air Tonight and a casual slathering of Easy Lover. But Genesis should be only for recreational dabbling, not a lifestyle choice. I get the impression there'd be three of us in the relationship, and I'm not sure how I feel about getting that intimate with Phil Collins. Yours, genetically modified.

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