Hey! Checking out my profile and not saying hello. How rude.
Dear Mr Stalker. Thanks for your email. And the wink beforehand that prompted me to check the profile of the winker in question. My reasons for not sending you a message are threefold. Let me list for you:
1. Your height is listed at 5'2". As a fellow five-foot-twosian I appreciate quite how midgetlike I am, and find something very eerie about being able to make direct level eye contact with a potential suitor.
2. You list the last thing you read as The London Lite. The London Lite has been no more since November last year. Please tell me you've read something since. And no, the Metro doesn't count. Nor does the the label on your steroid bottle.
3. You work in medicine / dental / veterinary. I do not wish to date someone who will diagnose me with leprosy, cavities or foot and mouth. Yours, avoidingly.
Desperate times call for desperate measures friends. Gone are the days of meeting your future spouse at a wedding or at work. Oh no. Nowadays, it's either e-dating or no dating. I'm not ashamed to admit to being an internet dating tourist, and one thing that impresses/distresses me more than anything are some of the messages that wheedle their way into my inbox. And some of these are just too good to be left unacknowledged. So here they are, in all their glory. Plus the replies I never sent.
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