Hi, are you free to chat atall? DO you like Frankie Boyle?
Dear Frankie Boyle. Thanks for your email. I know you are not the real Frankie Boyle, but you do bear a frightening resemblance to him, that is, if one was to imagine a Picasso version of a Frankie Boyle portrait, as painted by a 5 year old. What the real Frankie Boyle lacks in looks, he certainly makes up for in humour, but judging from your profile you neither match him in the looks stakes, nor in the comedy stakes. For these reasons, and rather important reasons they are, I think I'll be on my way to hang about the stage doors Edinburgh Fringe for people who genuinely put the funny into funny-looking. Yours, comically.
Desperate times call for desperate measures friends. Gone are the days of meeting your future spouse at a wedding or at work. Oh no. Nowadays, it's either e-dating or no dating. I'm not ashamed to admit to being an internet dating tourist, and one thing that impresses/distresses me more than anything are some of the messages that wheedle their way into my inbox. And some of these are just too good to be left unacknowledged. So here they are, in all their glory. Plus the replies I never sent.
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