Hi are you sitting comfortable then i give you a wink and a hug
Dear Mr Remotely Tactile. Thanks for your email. I was sitting comfortably until I read your missive. I am now sitting in a certain amount of discomfort with the feeling I have been in some way violated by a virtual stranger in my own home, and an eye on the door in case you and your brown suede-esque jacket, sex pest sunglasses and receding hairline walk in and attempt real life winking and hugging. Please don't do that again. Ever. Yours, rather uncomfortably.
Desperate times call for desperate measures friends. Gone are the days of meeting your future spouse at a wedding or at work. Oh no. Nowadays, it's either e-dating or no dating. I'm not ashamed to admit to being an internet dating tourist, and one thing that impresses/distresses me more than anything are some of the messages that wheedle their way into my inbox. And some of these are just too good to be left unacknowledged. So here they are, in all their glory. Plus the replies I never sent.
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