i want to have relation with you as you looks really nice to me. i want you to stare at me and also want to stare at you so that we can creat a world for each other what do you say?
Dear Mr Eloquent. Thanks for your email. You want to have a relation with me? What, like a child? Or a grandmother? I'll be honest, your profile picture is scarily starey, and I think I would much rather scoop out my eyeballs, polish them with an old Brillo pad, dip them in white wine vinegar and then pop them back into my skull than lay them on your glorious visage. In short, no. Yours, super-visually.
Desperate times call for desperate measures friends. Gone are the days of meeting your future spouse at a wedding or at work. Oh no. Nowadays, it's either e-dating or no dating. I'm not ashamed to admit to being an internet dating tourist, and one thing that impresses/distresses me more than anything are some of the messages that wheedle their way into my inbox. And some of these are just too good to be left unacknowledged. So here they are, in all their glory. Plus the replies I never sent.
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