I know how to get you published ;-)
Dear Mr Publisher. Thanks for your email. Yes, I know how to get me published to - write a blog. It's cheap, simple, and doesn't involve having to perform sexual favours for a middle aged man in dire need of personal grooming. Yours, self-publishingly.
Desperate times call for desperate measures friends. Gone are the days of meeting your future spouse at a wedding or at work. Oh no. Nowadays, it's either e-dating or no dating. I'm not ashamed to admit to being an internet dating tourist, and one thing that impresses/distresses me more than anything are some of the messages that wheedle their way into my inbox. And some of these are just too good to be left unacknowledged. So here they are, in all their glory. Plus the replies I never sent.
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