Desperate times call for desperate measures friends. Gone are the days of meeting your future spouse at a wedding or at work. Oh no. Nowadays, it's either e-dating or no dating. I'm not ashamed to admit to being an internet dating tourist, and one thing that impresses/distresses me more than anything are some of the messages that wheedle their way into my inbox. And some of these are just too good to be left unacknowledged. So here they are, in all their glory. Plus the replies I never sent.
20 July 2010
From Mr Direct
great profile girl u seem genuine girl i am lkinng for a genuine girl but to many timewasters here if ur seroius 4love dark we cud maybe chat on pone 07799 ****** i like travlling and doin nu things hope 2 chat 2u soon?? Xxxxx
Dear Mr Direct. Thanks for your email. And, indeed, ur pone (sic) number, which, I will admit, I have no intention of using. But why, I hear you ask (or 'bt y' more like). Well, for starters, what exactly are you lkinng (sic) for? I'll tell you what I'm looking for. Someone who uses proper English: full sentences, proper words, some semblance of grammar, not some sort of psuedo-teen-text-lingo that will no doubt be the death of our fine language within a decade. Someone that, quite frankly, doesn't invent words using a totally random combination of letters. And someone who doesn't model their entire image on Dappy from N-Dubz. Anyway, soz2 av wstid yr tym, bt i must go n b sic (sic). Yrs, literately.
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