Your in a little bit of a rush at the supermarket checkout queue. A tiny frail old lady behind you with just durex lubricant asks if she can push in front. Do you say:
A) sure
B) hows get fucked sound
c) Take the lubricant and say thanks, you didnt realised you dropped it?
Dear Mr Random Scenario. Thanks for your email. I have to say, I would choose none of the above. I would go for:
D) 'Nanna, remember what happened to your Yorkshire puddings the last time you left the bungalow without your glasses on? Now go back to the baking aisle and pick up the real vegetable oil like you're supposed to, there's a good girl.'
So there. Yours, correctively.
Desperate times call for desperate measures friends. Gone are the days of meeting your future spouse at a wedding or at work. Oh no. Nowadays, it's either e-dating or no dating. I'm not ashamed to admit to being an internet dating tourist, and one thing that impresses/distresses me more than anything are some of the messages that wheedle their way into my inbox. And some of these are just too good to be left unacknowledged. So here they are, in all their glory. Plus the replies I never sent.
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