Look under the Christmas tree..I'm your gift! I think we could really have fun and hit it off, do you want to meet?
Dear Mr Gift. Thanks for your email. Oh for fuck's sake! I'd been so good this year, and this is what I get? Have you still got the receipt? Even the cash would be preferable, I certainly wouldn't consider your presence good presents. Screw you Santa, next year I'm converting to Judaism. Yours, misgiftedly
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