Superb figure. Yep, tht's how imaginative I
am when it comes to saying hi. :P x
Dear Mr Inventive. Thanks for your email. Wow, you are imaginative aren't you! Especially since my picture is only a head shot. But I'm sure you'll totally LOVE the 21 stone of love from my neck down. Plus you strike me as the sort of guy to relish and treasure a little ladylike hirsutism and trust me, my false leg just means our love life will be that much more interesting. Have you ever used a prosthesis as a sex toy? Call me, call me now: 0781* *** ***. Yours, figuratively.
Desperate times call for desperate measures friends. Gone are the days of meeting your future spouse at a wedding or at work. Oh no. Nowadays, it's either e-dating or no dating. I'm not ashamed to admit to being an internet dating tourist, and one thing that impresses/distresses me more than anything are some of the messages that wheedle their way into my inbox. And some of these are just too good to be left unacknowledged. So here they are, in all their glory. Plus the replies I never sent.
03 September 2010
From Miss Threesome
darlin im new to this to im looking for a girl to have a bit of fun with me and my guy xxx
Dear Miss Threesome. Thanks for your email. Er...yeah...hmmm...well...not sure what to do with that right now...can I get back to you? Yours, indecisively.
PS. Not too fussed about you, but is your boyfriend hot?
Dear Miss Threesome. Thanks for your email. Er...yeah...hmmm...well...not sure what to do with that right now...can I get back to you? Yours, indecisively.
PS. Not too fussed about you, but is your boyfriend hot?
From Mr Dude
hi...dude
good evening...
you are looking so beautiful..can i make friendship with you..can u give me reply..dude ...i'm real guy dude
Dear Mr Dude. Thanks for your email.
DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No.
Yours, Dude Looks Like A Lady
good evening...
you are looking so beautiful..can i make friendship with you..can u give me reply..dude ...i'm real guy dude
Dear Mr Dude. Thanks for your email.
DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No.
Yours, Dude Looks Like A Lady
From Mr Classy
Hi angel! I have noticed from your profile that you seem really down to earth and lovely. :-) So, I was wondering whether you would care to join me for a can of special brew, with a bag of chips on a park bench? aaand...if you play your cards right I will take you on a bin raid with me...you can keep lookout! ;)
Dear Mr Classy. Thanks for your email. I may be down to earth, but I'm not a total tramp! Yours, the Littlest Hobo.
PS. Make it a White Ace cider and a kebab, however, and I'm all yours
Dear Mr Classy. Thanks for your email. I may be down to earth, but I'm not a total tramp! Yours, the Littlest Hobo.
PS. Make it a White Ace cider and a kebab, however, and I'm all yours
31 August 2010
From Mr Sweet
Hey you ok? What you up to? You look absolutely gorgeous in your pics surprised your on here : ) xxxx
Dear Mr Sweet. Thanks for your email. Don't be surprised I'm on here, I may look nice and normal in photos but in real life I put the i into insane, the me into demented and the chop into psychopathy. But if you don't believe me, let's meet! Now! Your house! Yours, truly madly.
Dear Mr Sweet. Thanks for your email. Don't be surprised I'm on here, I may look nice and normal in photos but in real life I put the i into insane, the me into demented and the chop into psychopathy. But if you don't believe me, let's meet! Now! Your house! Yours, truly madly.
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