Get your coat, you've pulled!
Dear Mr Claus. Thanks for your email. Speaking of pulling, shouldn't you be tending to those reindeer or yours rather than chasing after girls a couple of millienia your junior? Yours, unfestively.
Desperate times call for desperate measures friends. Gone are the days of meeting your future spouse at a wedding or at work. Oh no. Nowadays, it's either e-dating or no dating. I'm not ashamed to admit to being an internet dating tourist, and one thing that impresses/distresses me more than anything are some of the messages that wheedle their way into my inbox. And some of these are just too good to be left unacknowledged. So here they are, in all their glory. Plus the replies I never sent.
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