hi i was wondering if you would be in having sex with me as it will be my first time?
Dear Mr Teen. Thanks for your email. You are 14 years old. No. Seriously. No. Just to emphasise my point, you are less than half my age, a good couple of years under the age of consent, and even more poignantly, you weren't alive for the great Blur-Oasis Britpop battle, Jarvis Cocker thwarting Jacko's BRIT's performance and the release of Toy Story 1. Yes, Toy Story 1, it may shock you to know there were two more Toy Story films before the current one. Shouldn't you be poking people on Facebook rather than looking for your first poke online? Please do me a favour and stick to the XBox with your mates rather than looking for sex on dating sites. Yours, adultly
PS. If that fails, why don't you try saving up your pocket money and hiring a hooker? Just a thought...
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