Be honest, what are you looking for here? ;)
Dear Doggyfucker. Thanks very much for your email. I genuinely couldn't care less what you've written me - you could have crafted prose entertaining enough to bedaub Eddie Izzard a shade of 'envious green', scribbled sylvan stanzas stunning enough to solicit a swoon from Shakespeare, and written the sort of wise witticisms that would wilt Wittgenstein himself and I still wouldn't be interested. And why is this you ask? Well I'll tell you...you're a West Ham supporter. Sorry love, that's a red card in my book. Yours, disinterestedly.
PS. Nice username.
Desperate times call for desperate measures friends. Gone are the days of meeting your future spouse at a wedding or at work. Oh no. Nowadays, it's either e-dating or no dating. I'm not ashamed to admit to being an internet dating tourist, and one thing that impresses/distresses me more than anything are some of the messages that wheedle their way into my inbox. And some of these are just too good to be left unacknowledged. So here they are, in all their glory. Plus the replies I never sent.
30 November 2010
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You're too biased against his football club to be disinterested, but even that may irk him less than your failure answer his question.ReplyDelete