21 July 2010

From Mr Modest

I'm ashamed to have winked at you now. Having fully read your profile I feel hopelessly deficient, both for my own lacklustre profile and as a human being! For being inspired and inspiring, I salute you. May that shadowy figure of fate guide you to romantic fulfilment. Adieu.

Dear Mr Modest. Thanks for your email. I must apologise that my profile makes you feel like an inferior human being. After all, a short, round, brown-haired person of the female variety is clearly directly comparable to someone of the frighteningly tall, rakishly skinny and unfeasibly ginger variety. I would suggest you maybe speak to a close friend, parent or counsellor about your lack of self esteem as a result of looking at virtual (and presumably exaggerated) representations of fellow human beings - it's clearly not healthy. I don't want to make you feel even worse, so I'll leave it here. May that shadowy figure of fate point you in the direction clearly marked 'self help'. Yours guiltily.

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