there is no way you are without a man!"? if you are ever at a loose end i say you should get your bum out with me for a fab date?
Dear Mr Exhibitionist. Thanks for your email. Get my bum out on a first date? I would do no such a thing, I'm classy, me. Third date, maybe. And if you play your cards right, by the fifth date I might even get my cock out. Yours, exposingly
Desperate times call for desperate measures friends. Gone are the days of meeting your future spouse at a wedding or at work. Oh no. Nowadays, it's either e-dating or no dating. I'm not ashamed to admit to being an internet dating tourist, and one thing that impresses/distresses me more than anything are some of the messages that wheedle their way into my inbox. And some of these are just too good to be left unacknowledged. So here they are, in all their glory. Plus the replies I never sent.
Showing posts with label dating email big stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating email big stuff. Show all posts
07 April 2011
From Mr Martian
Hello, I'm Manny the Martian. What's your favourite flavour of bowling ball?
Dear Mr Martian. Thanks for your email. My favourite flavour of bowling ball? Hmm...that's a toughie. Depending on my mood, I either like Arkansas or perpendicular, although I have been known to dabble in handlebar moustache once in a while. What about you? Yours, surreally.
Dear Mr Martian. Thanks for your email. My favourite flavour of bowling ball? Hmm...that's a toughie. Depending on my mood, I either like Arkansas or perpendicular, although I have been known to dabble in handlebar moustache once in a while. What about you? Yours, surreally.
27 October 2010
From Mr Big Stuff
Well..well...well...helloooooooooo gorgeous personage !!
I probably don't qualify... but what the hell.. after all... faint heart ne'er won fair doo dah..
Too late I'll warrant... ah well...
I suspect that this email lies somewhere between No 846 and 961... nevertheless....
I was marginally intrigued (and amused ) by your most charming and inviting profile. A kindred spirit indeed !!!
So much so that I was forcibly dragged to the computer to put pen to paper, so to speak !!!!!
I have just joined this website. Thank goodness !!... How else would I have met you...!!. However I’m still not too sure about chatting attractive (as I see that that you are)females using this email malarky !!!
Anyway a bit about me :
I am a very rich 50 (damn curse and blast!) year old bad boy living in London.
Why do I need to tell you that I am rich ? Is it really necessary ? And, pray, why am I a bad boy ?
I’m sure that a prompt receipt of a missive from your good self will elicit from me the answers to these life enhancing questions............and more ........!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now the reason my profile is somewhat sparse with no current photo, is because I am well known in certain parts of the West End of London and I do need to protect my identity. I would be happy to send you my photos, now that I have established I don’t already know you !!!
I am well aware that I am not as young as you would like... but nevertheless I am highly experienced sexually, ( and I am sure you are well aware that any man who claims this tends to be wholly inadequate..so there !!), and have very many attributes.. so if you would care to further explore this delicate contact.. I would of course be delighted...ta !!
Kindest Regards
Mr Big Stuff ..
P.S. I just lurrve exclamation marks !!!!!!!!!
Dear Mr Big Stuff. Thanks for your email. So you're 50 years old and brag-worthily rich - well done you, is one supposed to cancel out the other in the mind of male-daters? Well what redeeming characteristic can you boast about to compensate for your frightening adoration for certain forms of punctuation? What also concerns me slightly is how famous (or infamous) you may be around the West End - and by my powers of deduction you are either the old guy in Les Miserables, the old guy in Oliver! or one of the old guys in Waiting For Godot. In any case, consider this one fair doo-dah you've not won. Sorry. Yours, confuddledly
I probably don't qualify... but what the hell.. after all... faint heart ne'er won fair doo dah..
Too late I'll warrant... ah well...
I suspect that this email lies somewhere between No 846 and 961... nevertheless....
I was marginally intrigued (and amused ) by your most charming and inviting profile. A kindred spirit indeed !!!
So much so that I was forcibly dragged to the computer to put pen to paper, so to speak !!!!!
I have just joined this website. Thank goodness !!... How else would I have met you...!!. However I’m still not too sure about chatting attractive (as I see that that you are)females using this email malarky !!!
Anyway a bit about me :
I am a very rich 50 (damn curse and blast!) year old bad boy living in London.
Why do I need to tell you that I am rich ? Is it really necessary ? And, pray, why am I a bad boy ?
I’m sure that a prompt receipt of a missive from your good self will elicit from me the answers to these life enhancing questions............and more ........!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now the reason my profile is somewhat sparse with no current photo, is because I am well known in certain parts of the West End of London and I do need to protect my identity. I would be happy to send you my photos, now that I have established I don’t already know you !!!
I am well aware that I am not as young as you would like... but nevertheless I am highly experienced sexually, ( and I am sure you are well aware that any man who claims this tends to be wholly inadequate..so there !!), and have very many attributes.. so if you would care to further explore this delicate contact.. I would of course be delighted...ta !!
Kindest Regards
Mr Big Stuff ..
P.S. I just lurrve exclamation marks !!!!!!!!!
Dear Mr Big Stuff. Thanks for your email. So you're 50 years old and brag-worthily rich - well done you, is one supposed to cancel out the other in the mind of male-daters? Well what redeeming characteristic can you boast about to compensate for your frightening adoration for certain forms of punctuation? What also concerns me slightly is how famous (or infamous) you may be around the West End - and by my powers of deduction you are either the old guy in Les Miserables, the old guy in Oliver! or one of the old guys in Waiting For Godot. In any case, consider this one fair doo-dah you've not won. Sorry. Yours, confuddledly
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