Hi... you are so sweet
Dear Mr Saccharine. Thanks for your email. It's true, I am sweet. I am so sweet, I am currently the leading cause of tooth loss in at least 23 countries around Europe, and am banned from entering American borders. I am so sugary, in fact, that the Food Standards Agency have officially labelled me as 837% of your Recommended Daily Amount of sugar. The sugar content in me is so unfeasibly high, I receive death threats from at least seventeen dentists daily, and I can send a diabetic into a coma at thirty paces. In short, as much as I would dearly love to make your acquaintance, I fear I would endanger your health. Yours, tooth-rottingly.
Desperate times call for desperate measures friends. Gone are the days of meeting your future spouse at a wedding or at work. Oh no. Nowadays, it's either e-dating or no dating. I'm not ashamed to admit to being an internet dating tourist, and one thing that impresses/distresses me more than anything are some of the messages that wheedle their way into my inbox. And some of these are just too good to be left unacknowledged. So here they are, in all their glory. Plus the replies I never sent.
Showing posts with label sweet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sweet. Show all posts
13 August 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)