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Dear Mr Persistent. Listen very carefully, I shall say this only once, although technically, this is the fourth time I'm having to tell you this, and you're lucky I've not hunted you down and bludgeoned you to death with your own computer:
I AM NOT, NOR EVER WILL, MAKE USE OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER FOR THE PURPOSE OF CONTACTING YOU WITH ANY OTHER INTENTION THAN TO SHOUT AT YOU FOR BEING A TOTAL AND UTTER PEST. GO A-FUCKING-WAY!
Yours, for the very last time.
Desperate times call for desperate measures friends. Gone are the days of meeting your future spouse at a wedding or at work. Oh no. Nowadays, it's either e-dating or no dating. I'm not ashamed to admit to being an internet dating tourist, and one thing that impresses/distresses me more than anything are some of the messages that wheedle their way into my inbox. And some of these are just too good to be left unacknowledged. So here they are, in all their glory. Plus the replies I never sent.
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