I was blinded by your good looks so i'm going to need your details for insurance reasons.
Dear Mr Dodgy Claim. Thanks for your email. I'm sorry but I can't help you with your insurance case. You see, I'm only covered for third party, fire and theft, so unless someone has physically stolen your eyeballs or they have been subjected to some sort of arson attack, you're not eligible to make a claim. Do let me know if they have though. Not because I will give you my details, but because it'll make me chuckle. Yours, assuredly
Desperate times call for desperate measures friends. Gone are the days of meeting your future spouse at a wedding or at work. Oh no. Nowadays, it's either e-dating or no dating. I'm not ashamed to admit to being an internet dating tourist, and one thing that impresses/distresses me more than anything are some of the messages that wheedle their way into my inbox. And some of these are just too good to be left unacknowledged. So here they are, in all their glory. Plus the replies I never sent.
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