You are really nice and attractive woman. I like your face. X
Dear Mr Maybelline. Thanks for your email. I can't say I feel the same about your face I'm afraid. You see, I'm not sure I could date a man whose eyebrows were more immaculately coiffured than my own. I'm fairly certain I don't see Pat Butcher eyeshadow as a desired quality in a potential suitor and I'm positive I couldn't go out with a man who wears blusher like Raggedy-bloody-Ann. Even your cleavage is better than mine. In short, if I wanted to date someone who wore as much slap as you, I'd be a lesbian. With better taste at that. But I'm not. I'm also not entirely convinced I'm up your proverbial street either, but I suspect it's just your way of getting your mits on my Max Factor. Cheeky. And still no. Yours, cosmetically
Desperate times call for desperate measures friends. Gone are the days of meeting your future spouse at a wedding or at work. Oh no. Nowadays, it's either e-dating or no dating. I'm not ashamed to admit to being an internet dating tourist, and one thing that impresses/distresses me more than anything are some of the messages that wheedle their way into my inbox. And some of these are just too good to be left unacknowledged. So here they are, in all their glory. Plus the replies I never sent.
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