hi, hope your well (lovely pic/profile). this may sound like a joke, but i am entirely serious. would you teach me how to kiss? if your interested then get back to me and i'll explain more. im not interested to meet for sex (not for now anyway), just to learn kissing only. (i have never been in a relationship before hence my request).
Dear Mr Never-Been-Kissed. Thanks for your email. Of course I'll teach you how to kiss, I learned back in my days at an all girls boarding school. The trick is to hold the other person's face tenderly with both hands (in my case back then it was Lynsey from the year above), move in very slowly until you're just touching lips (she used to smell like strawberry lip balm from the Body Shop, mmm yummy!), and then slowly slip your...hang on a minute...I know your game. Dirty boy. Well done you.
Yours, lip servicely
Desperate times call for desperate measures friends. Gone are the days of meeting your future spouse at a wedding or at work. Oh no. Nowadays, it's either e-dating or no dating. I'm not ashamed to admit to being an internet dating tourist, and one thing that impresses/distresses me more than anything are some of the messages that wheedle their way into my inbox. And some of these are just too good to be left unacknowledged. So here they are, in all their glory. Plus the replies I never sent.
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