Omg...your so cute, i just wanna put you in my pocket, take you home and ask my room mates if i can keep you
Dear Mr Patronising. Thanks for your email. What do you think I am, a bloody Borrower? Well you're right, I am. And a fully house-trained one at that. So have a word with your room mates, and get back to me, yeah. Yours, diminutively.
Desperate times call for desperate measures friends. Gone are the days of meeting your future spouse at a wedding or at work. Oh no. Nowadays, it's either e-dating or no dating. I'm not ashamed to admit to being an internet dating tourist, and one thing that impresses/distresses me more than anything are some of the messages that wheedle their way into my inbox. And some of these are just too good to be left unacknowledged. So here they are, in all their glory. Plus the replies I never sent.
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