Hi! What's up?
Dear Mr Vertical. Thanks for your email. What's up you ask? A few things I suspect, mainly share prices in Mattessons and your cholesterol if your photos are anything to go by. I'm terribly sorry, but I'm not sure I could date someone who is so large they have their own personal postcode and gravitational force, it'd make getting parcels delivered a bit of a trick, and leaving you impossible. Yours, diminutively.
Desperate times call for desperate measures friends. Gone are the days of meeting your future spouse at a wedding or at work. Oh no. Nowadays, it's either e-dating or no dating. I'm not ashamed to admit to being an internet dating tourist, and one thing that impresses/distresses me more than anything are some of the messages that wheedle their way into my inbox. And some of these are just too good to be left unacknowledged. So here they are, in all their glory. Plus the replies I never sent.
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