hey I'm Mr Suspicious, I liked your profile so just
wanted to say hello! I was going to give my
name in full but there's always an outside
chance of you being a stalking axe
murderer, maybe on the next message...
So what part of London are you from?
Dear Mr Suspicious. Thanks for your email. Oh no, don't worry about me, I've never held an axe before in my life, so you're perfectly safe there! I'm much more of a polonium fan myself. Fancy going for a drink, or a bite to eat? Sushi perhaps? Yours, toxically
Desperate times call for desperate measures friends. Gone are the days of meeting your future spouse at a wedding or at work. Oh no. Nowadays, it's either e-dating or no dating. I'm not ashamed to admit to being an internet dating tourist, and one thing that impresses/distresses me more than anything are some of the messages that wheedle their way into my inbox. And some of these are just too good to be left unacknowledged. So here they are, in all their glory. Plus the replies I never sent.
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