Internet Berating

Desperate times call for desperate measures friends. Gone are the days of meeting your future spouse at a wedding or at work. Oh no. Nowadays, it's either e-dating or no dating. I'm not ashamed to admit to being an internet dating tourist, and one thing that impresses/distresses me more than anything are some of the messages that wheedle their way into my inbox. And some of these are just too good to be left unacknowledged. So here they are, in all their glory. Plus the replies I never sent.

01 October 2011

Mr Tight

would you share your drink with me if i was to take you out

Dear Mr Tight. Thanks for your email. No you can't share my drink you miserly old miser, get your own. Unless, that is, you were planning some sort of roofie-related stunt, in which case sure! You can have my drink! It strikes me that with a face like that you'd probably need some sort of Rohypnol action to get some sort of bedroom action, even with yourself. So go on, knock yourself out, on both counts. Yours, unsedatedly

2 comments:

Gorilla Bananas7 April 2011 at 20:03
You mean you're still doing the on-line dating thing? Don't they guarantee you'll find love in six months? Time to get a refund, baby.
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CTS7 April 2011 at 20:24
Sure am. On and off for years and YEARS now...but come on, look at the messages I get...!
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