hi bbe hw r u? U seem v intresting cn we b m8s?
Dear Mr Text Speak. Thanks for your email. Well, I say email, but in truth it's more like one of those ridiculous texts that will be the final nail in the frighteningly sad coffin of our beautiful English language. I'm pretty sure the moment you typed that message, the likes of Shakespeare and Proust turned in their graves, the publishers of the Oxford English Dictionary handed in their notices in distress and Stephen Fry shed a subconscious tear in mourning for our mother tongue. I hope you're proud of yourself, you word-murderer. But to be honest, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about, because I've used full words. What a crying shame. Yours, literately
Desperate times call for desperate measures friends. Gone are the days of meeting your future spouse at a wedding or at work. Oh no. Nowadays, it's either e-dating or no dating. I'm not ashamed to admit to being an internet dating tourist, and one thing that impresses/distresses me more than anything are some of the messages that wheedle their way into my inbox. And some of these are just too good to be left unacknowledged. So here they are, in all their glory. Plus the replies I never sent.
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