Internet Berating

Desperate times call for desperate measures friends. Gone are the days of meeting your future spouse at a wedding or at work. Oh no. Nowadays, it's either e-dating or no dating. I'm not ashamed to admit to being an internet dating tourist, and one thing that impresses/distresses me more than anything are some of the messages that wheedle their way into my inbox. And some of these are just too good to be left unacknowledged. So here they are, in all their glory. Plus the replies I never sent.

29 September 2010

From Mr Speculation

if you keep your ipod and I remove all your clothes
how would you feel then ?
x

Dear Mr Speculation. Thanks for your email. If you removed all of my clothes and let me keep my iPod, I would no doubt feel rather cold, very self-conscious, and most concerned I would get severely reprimanded at work for pitching up stark bollock naked. Remind me never to meet up with you, you weird, twisted, Apple-loving, garment thief! Yours, happily-clad

2 comments:

Gorilla Bananas29 September 2010 at 21:05
Quite right, let him buy his own clothes. Damned transvestite.
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Anonymous29 September 2010 at 21:53
This is the best email you've had. Amaze.
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